May 6, 2008

May 6, 2008


Twelve years ago, on this date at one in the afternoon, my mother went on to the next life and is with the Lord.

I can’t believe, I’m writing a post about this day. Maybe, it is because I have found peace and acceptance that she is no longer with us or perhaps I needed to write something about it to comfort me on this day.

As I sit here staring on the monitor, I try to understand what it is that I’m exactly feeling at this moment.

I am not really sad neither am I happy.

It is a mix up of many emotions.

And it is up to me to decide which among these emotions I must choose.

But as I choose among these emotions, am I just fooling myself, denying what my true feeling is or am I just giving myself the empowerment to decide how am I going to spend my day; happy or sad, heartbroken or inspired, cursed or blessed.

Forgive me for blabbering.

This day used to be painful but it ceased to be today.

I am peace with the thought that my mom is already with her Creator and she is in a perfect state of happiness.

I am grateful that God has given me a mother like my mom because she was simply the best.

I am thankful because even if I had my mama for only seventeen years , I have shown her how much I love her. I don’t have any regret, that I should have done this or should have done that for her because I can’t think of any word left unsaid or any act of love not shown between us. I know she knew that I love her dearly and she loves me so much no word/s can describe it.