I just realized that I must not be to hard on myself. I need to forgive myself for the wrong decisions I've made and not let the past haunt me. Why would I torture myself with what "ifs" and "buts" when I know that I did what I did because it is what I thought to be right at that time? I didn't do anything in my life that I knew is wrong from the start. ( just thinking out loud :)
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